What's Here?
What follows is the first section of my published book, A PARENT¡¯S GUIDE TO RAISING GREAT KIDS. I hope you find what is offered free to you here informative and helpful in your parenting journey.
In the first section of A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING GREAT KIDS, you will find 21 questions that are essential for all of us parents to ask ourselves if it is our goal to raise great and healthy kids. The first four questions are provided for you to read free of charge. Just click and read.
In the second section of the book, you will find descriptive differences that are crucial to recognizing and understanding DISCIPLINE and PUNISHMENT in parenting. In addition, the second half of the book contains a discussion of the very important differences that exist between parental AUTHORITY and parental POWER.
ANGER IN KIDS
A common and recurring theme I have found in my work with kids over the years is anger. Often, it is unresolved anger that lies behind the self-defeating symptoms that plague so many kids today. Anger in kids is often a natural outcome when we parents use punishment rather than discipline, and parental power rather than the all-important parental authority.
To buy A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING GREAT KIDS, click the Paypal button below. By placing your order here, you will receive free shipping.
In any event, I hope you find the information I have provided on this website a help in your exciting task of raising great and healthy kids.
Section I: 21 Questions Successful Parents Ask Themselves
- Do I Respect My Kids?
- What Do My Kids Hear Me Say About Them?
- Do I Use Guilt To Get My Kids To Do What I Want?
- Am I Motivated In My Actions Toward My Kids By My Own Guilt Feelings?
- Do I Make Some Of The Same Mistakes With My Kids That My Parents Made With Me?
- Do I Encourage Dependency On Myself That Meets My Need To Be Loved?
- Do I Excessively Protect My Kids?
- Am I Appropriately Available To My Kids?
- Do I Focus More On My Kids' Positive, Or Negative Behaviors?
- Do I Hold Grudges?
- Am I Able To Say, "I'm Sorry. Will You Forgive Me?"
- Am I Physical With My Kids?
- Do I Teach My Kids How To Laugh At Themselves?
- Do I Teach My Kids That It Is O.K. To Have Their Feelings, No Matter What Those Feelings Are?
- Do I Encourage My Kids To Help, Even Though When They Do, It May Make The Task Longer, Or May Not Even Turn Out As Well?
- Do I Show My Kids That They Really Matter?
- Do I Listen To My Kids?
- Do I Give My Kids As Many Choices In Life As Possible?
- When My Kids Disappoint Me, Do They Have To Earn Back My Love And Approval?
- Do I Establish Appropriate Guidelines Within Which My Kids Can Freely Function?
- Do I Keep In Mind That It Is Normal For My Kids To Challenge My Authority?
Discipline-Based-Parenting Vs. Punishment-Based Parenting And, Authority-Based Parenting Vs. Power-Based Parenting
Seven Characteristic Differences Between Discipline-Based Parenting And Punishment-Based Parenting
- Discipline-Based Parenting Teaches Values That Are Generalized To Other Situations; Punishment-Based Parenting Teaches, "I'd Better Not Get Caught Next Time".
- Discipline-Based Parenting Is Consistent And When Possible, Involves Predetermined Consequences; Punishment-Based Parenting Is Inconsistent And Unpredictable.
- Discipline-Base Parenting Involves Communication And Follow-Up Along With Our Action; Punishment-Based Parenting Involves Few Words Of Explanation, And Action That Leaves Kids Surprised And Puzzled.
- Discipline-Based Parenting Creates Closeness, Intimacy, And An Ability To Trust Others; Punishment-Based Parenting Creates Distance, Insulation, And Kids Who Are Angry, Rebellious, And Slow To Trust.
- Discipline-Based Parenting Takes Place While We Are Still In Control Of Ourselves; Punishment-Based Parenting Takes Place Out Of Anger, Frustration, And With Little Self-Control.
- Discipline-Based Parenting Knows That Challenges To Authority Are Normal And Can Be Used To Teach Values And Expectations; Punishment-Based Parenting Wants Only To Change The Unacceptable Behaviors And Attitudes.
- Discipline-Based Parenting Recognizes The Difference Between Mistakes And Challenges To Authority; Punishment-Based Parenting Does Not.
Seven Characteristic Differences Between Authority-Based Parenting And Power-Based Parenting:
- Authority-Based Parenting Maintains Its Influence When The Authority Figure Is No Longer Present; Power-Based Parenting Is Effective Only As Long As The Power Figure Is Present.
- Authority-Based Parenting Fosters And Encourages Independence; Power-Based Parenting Fosters And Encourages Dependence.
- Authority-Based Parenting Establishes Parameters And Guidelines That Are Fluid And Flexible; Power-Based Parenting Establishes Parameters And Guidelines That Are Rigid And Inflexible.
- Authority-Based Parenting Gradually Gives Up Control And Teaches Self-Control; Power-Based Parenting Fears Losing Control.
- Authority-Based Parenting Comes From A Position Of Strength And Establishes Leadership With Democracy; Power-Based Parenting Comes From A Position Of Weakness And Establishes Autocratic Rule.
- Authority-Based Parenting Earns Respect By Giving It; Power-Based Parenting Demands Respect But Does Not Give It.
- Authority-Based Parenting Encourages And Nurtures The Spirit But Discourages Willful Defiance; Power-Based Parenting Stifles The Spirit And Encourages Willful Defiance.
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